Buying Sexual Identity Insurance from Dear Abby
Today's tidbit comes from, of all place, today's "Dear Abby" Column.
Wow. It's rare that you see such a glaring example of people believing the dubious teachings of the religious right instead of the obvious truths that surround them.
Worried Mom's husband cooks and cleans. She's worried that if her son sees her husband cooking and cleaning, he'll acquire those 'feminine' habits as well, and 'turn out' to be gay. Worried Mother needs to be smacked out of her stupor and reminded that her husband, who cooks and cleans, is not gay.
This is why people like Dobson are dangerous. The problem with almost all life-advice writers is that they assume one system will work for everyone. In the case of Dobson's version of psychology-meets-biblical-interpretation, however, you've got people who believe in the Bible, which is fine, but also believe hacks like Dobson because he claims that his answers come from the Bible, even if those answers fly in the face of the reality that surrounds them every day.
Worried Mom evidently didn't think that "Ron" was too feminine to marry. She recognized that his penchant for cooking and doing housework had no connection to his sexual preference, and fell in love with him. Now, she's jeopardizing her obviously comfortable domestic situation because James Dobson told her that a boy who grows up thinking it's okay for a man to cook and clean will be gay. The ignorance of this is obviously stunning, but my point is, she got far enough with it to write Dear Abby. She must have discussed it with friends and family as well. How is it that nobody has made clear to her the obvious flaws in Dobson's theory? She lives with a perfect example of why Dobson is full of shit, and granted she should recognize it on her own, but as she's failed to employ basic analytical thought, how has no one pointed it out to her?
Of course, Dobson's theories on sexuality are easily refuted, as they are made up of distorted information built around convenient scapegoats, though certainly it should shock no one that the religious right ignores science in favor of dogmatic fantasy. Despite what Dobson claims, the jury is most definitely still out on what 'causes' homosexuality. It is irresponsible for him to claim otherwise just given the fact that no definitive conclusion has been reached, but even more so when one weighs in the most recent peer-reviewed studies on homosexuality. (See the American Psychological Association's resource page for unpoliticized information. The majority of the information available is highly politicized, unreviewed, and is regarded as dubious science.) There tends to be little correlation between the domestic dispositions of parents in the eventual sexual identity of their children, and even the children of openly gay parents are no more likely to be gay, something that flies in the face of Dobson's theories about parental modeling of sexual identity. In fact, the only place you see a statistically relevant deviation is with fathers that are 'uber-masculine', whose male children are slightly more prone to being gay. I would argue that in these cases, the boys are not more likely to be homosexual, but simply more likely to be open about it, as they are forced to confront their sexuality head on as they realize that their fathers present a standard they have no chance of meeting. Regardless, however, of what causes the occasional fluctuations in the statistics, the data simply does not support the notion that parents with less conventional domestic situations are more likely to have gay children.
The worst aspect of this widespread misinformation is that it fosters parents with whom gay children can not be honest. Obviously Worried Mom is disgusted by homosexuality, seeing it as something to actively prevent, despite there being no proven way to do so. Of course, there is some chance that "Brett" will be gay; conservative estimates give him about a 3% chance, less conservative estimates run as high as 11%. If "Brett" is gay, will he be able to be honest with his mother about his sexual identity? Likely he will not, and will endure years of isolation, loneliness, and shame, factors that contribute to the much higher rate of suicide among gay teenagers. The unconditional love of the parent is trumped by false science and hackneyed pseudoreligious dogma. Once again, we find the fanatic Christians abandoning the actual teachings of Christ to create a culture of human judgment, exclusion, dishonesty, and hatred. It is because this culture of ignorance oozes into the mainstream consciousness that assholes like Fred Phelps can even exist.
James Dobson is a dubious psychiatrist with a talent for media manipulation. He has made a fortune by spreading disinformation to a public hungry for easy answers that give them a false sense of control instead of the more difficult answers reality presents. I'm sick of hearing people dance around the issue in an attempt to be nonconfrontational. I don't care that many people respect him as a spiritual man. Plenty of people respected Charles Lindbergh as an aviator, but that didn't make his anti-Semitic, nazi-sympathetic politics any more palatable. James Dobson doesn't deserve to be taken seriously just because he claims to speak for Christians. He doesn't speak for this one, and criticism of the poison he spreads is not criticism of Christianity.
I won't print Abby's response... you'll have to visit a site that pays to run her column for that. I will say that while she appropriately dresses Worried Mom down for paying more attention to James Dobson than her own husband, she spoils it by implying that 'with luck' "Brett" won't turn out to be gay. I don't hope "Brett" is straight for his mother's sake. I hope he's straight for his sake. Nobody should have to feel rejected by ignorant parents. Not even if James Dobson says so.
Dear Abby:
My husband, "Ron," and I are at odds over parenting out 7-year-old son, "Brett." My husband is very domestic. He cooks like a world-class chef and does more housework than any man I know of.
I have read Dr. James Dobson's books on family. He clearly states that a father should be the manly role model for the son, to prevent the son from being homosexual.
I'm concerned that Brett will learn feminine ways from my husband and turn out to be gay.
How can I convince Ron that he needs to teach Brett the more manly things in life?
- Worried Mom in Florida
Wow. It's rare that you see such a glaring example of people believing the dubious teachings of the religious right instead of the obvious truths that surround them.
Worried Mom's husband cooks and cleans. She's worried that if her son sees her husband cooking and cleaning, he'll acquire those 'feminine' habits as well, and 'turn out' to be gay. Worried Mother needs to be smacked out of her stupor and reminded that her husband, who cooks and cleans, is not gay.
This is why people like Dobson are dangerous. The problem with almost all life-advice writers is that they assume one system will work for everyone. In the case of Dobson's version of psychology-meets-biblical-interpretation, however, you've got people who believe in the Bible, which is fine, but also believe hacks like Dobson because he claims that his answers come from the Bible, even if those answers fly in the face of the reality that surrounds them every day.
Worried Mom evidently didn't think that "Ron" was too feminine to marry. She recognized that his penchant for cooking and doing housework had no connection to his sexual preference, and fell in love with him. Now, she's jeopardizing her obviously comfortable domestic situation because James Dobson told her that a boy who grows up thinking it's okay for a man to cook and clean will be gay. The ignorance of this is obviously stunning, but my point is, she got far enough with it to write Dear Abby. She must have discussed it with friends and family as well. How is it that nobody has made clear to her the obvious flaws in Dobson's theory? She lives with a perfect example of why Dobson is full of shit, and granted she should recognize it on her own, but as she's failed to employ basic analytical thought, how has no one pointed it out to her?
Of course, Dobson's theories on sexuality are easily refuted, as they are made up of distorted information built around convenient scapegoats, though certainly it should shock no one that the religious right ignores science in favor of dogmatic fantasy. Despite what Dobson claims, the jury is most definitely still out on what 'causes' homosexuality. It is irresponsible for him to claim otherwise just given the fact that no definitive conclusion has been reached, but even more so when one weighs in the most recent peer-reviewed studies on homosexuality. (See the American Psychological Association's resource page for unpoliticized information. The majority of the information available is highly politicized, unreviewed, and is regarded as dubious science.) There tends to be little correlation between the domestic dispositions of parents in the eventual sexual identity of their children, and even the children of openly gay parents are no more likely to be gay, something that flies in the face of Dobson's theories about parental modeling of sexual identity. In fact, the only place you see a statistically relevant deviation is with fathers that are 'uber-masculine', whose male children are slightly more prone to being gay. I would argue that in these cases, the boys are not more likely to be homosexual, but simply more likely to be open about it, as they are forced to confront their sexuality head on as they realize that their fathers present a standard they have no chance of meeting. Regardless, however, of what causes the occasional fluctuations in the statistics, the data simply does not support the notion that parents with less conventional domestic situations are more likely to have gay children.
The worst aspect of this widespread misinformation is that it fosters parents with whom gay children can not be honest. Obviously Worried Mom is disgusted by homosexuality, seeing it as something to actively prevent, despite there being no proven way to do so. Of course, there is some chance that "Brett" will be gay; conservative estimates give him about a 3% chance, less conservative estimates run as high as 11%. If "Brett" is gay, will he be able to be honest with his mother about his sexual identity? Likely he will not, and will endure years of isolation, loneliness, and shame, factors that contribute to the much higher rate of suicide among gay teenagers. The unconditional love of the parent is trumped by false science and hackneyed pseudoreligious dogma. Once again, we find the fanatic Christians abandoning the actual teachings of Christ to create a culture of human judgment, exclusion, dishonesty, and hatred. It is because this culture of ignorance oozes into the mainstream consciousness that assholes like Fred Phelps can even exist.
James Dobson is a dubious psychiatrist with a talent for media manipulation. He has made a fortune by spreading disinformation to a public hungry for easy answers that give them a false sense of control instead of the more difficult answers reality presents. I'm sick of hearing people dance around the issue in an attempt to be nonconfrontational. I don't care that many people respect him as a spiritual man. Plenty of people respected Charles Lindbergh as an aviator, but that didn't make his anti-Semitic, nazi-sympathetic politics any more palatable. James Dobson doesn't deserve to be taken seriously just because he claims to speak for Christians. He doesn't speak for this one, and criticism of the poison he spreads is not criticism of Christianity.
I won't print Abby's response... you'll have to visit a site that pays to run her column for that. I will say that while she appropriately dresses Worried Mom down for paying more attention to James Dobson than her own husband, she spoils it by implying that 'with luck' "Brett" won't turn out to be gay. I don't hope "Brett" is straight for his mother's sake. I hope he's straight for his sake. Nobody should have to feel rejected by ignorant parents. Not even if James Dobson says so.
posted by Zafrod at 11:29 AM
5 Comments:
I have read a lot of Dobson's books and I never got the impression that this idiot woman got. I don't think he ever said that cooking and cleaning and suchwill make your son gay. His point is that if you don't have a strong father figure, you could have problems, but strong doesn't necessarily imply macho!! I think the real problem hear is people freaking out and interpreting based on their own fears and biases.
Thanks Katrina. It's quite possible that you're correct. I will admit to
having read only one of his books, though I do catch him somewhat regularly on his radio program. I find that he quite often cites unreviewed studies and sketchy statistics to back up his claims, so I didn't have a lot of trouble believing that he would say something like this. I have certainly heard him lash out at homosexual scapegoats often enough to get a sense of his ignorant prejudices, so it's tough to be shocked that someone came away hoping to ensure their child grows up straight.
On a personal note, I know two fathers of gay sons personally who are James Dobson listeners and, well, undoubtedly 'masculine.' Both have come to accept their sons, but both spent time wondering what they had done wrong. So Worried Mom definitely isn't the only one.
Hey..
For once, I agree with you.
Dobson is an idiot, and everything he says provides ammunition for the Liberal Left's war against the "Religious Right." (Of which I am NOT a member.)
Good job.
Well, of course what he said provides them with ammunition. What he says is generally batshit crazy.
In the war of the 'Liberal Left' versus the Fanatical Christians, I definitely side with the liberals. The thing is, it's really more like the liberal left and the secular-government centrists vs. the Christian fanatics and the far-right who pander to them in exchange for a solid base.
Glad you liked one, Mikey.
Me too.
I wish that more politicians could realize the slippery slope that you start down by pandering to Religious groups for political purposes.
That's how you wind up going to War in the name of God, and restricting people's freedoms because 'the Bible tells me so."
Religion and politics do not mix, and Jesus never instructed anyone to try to mix them.
I do, however , believe that "The Christian Right" is largely a construct of the Left, propped up as a scary Boogeyman to frighten non-Christians into voting Democrat.
People like Dobson and Fred Phelps are no threat to anyone's liberties but their own.
If we just leave them alone and let them speak, they destroy their own credibility pretty quickly.
They have no real political power.
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