Revenge of 50 Questions (the mathematically challenged edition)
More unrestrained egotism! Yay! Thanks to Amy at RQ for this list of questions.
1. Who did you last get angry with?
When I get angry, I tend to get migraines. So I’ve sorta learned not to get angry in the traditional sense.
2. What is your weapon of choice?
Sarcasm.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
It is difficult for me to imagine being able to do so, but I suppose there are circumstances that would make it necessary.
4. How about of the same sex?
I try not to. I’ve been in one fight, the result of which was my opponent being rushed to the hospital with a broken arm and a ruptured eardrum. I think this is why I never got in any other fights.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
I seem to have really gotten under the skin of some local right-wingers. Not sure how that happened.
6. What is your pet peeve?
Self-righteous self-importance.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let things go?
I give my trust rather easily, but once it’s lost, it’s nearly impossible to retrieve.
8. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you have not done in a long time?
I tend to go 3 or 4 days without shaving when I’m feeling lazy, but I’m not sure that counts as a ‘long time.’
9. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
I spent a few years working the night shift. So 3 PM was customary.
10. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't.
I actually just did… probably to my embarrassment. There may be a point at which contact shouldn’t be attempted.
11. What is the last lame excuse you made?
“I WAS on my way to bed, but the blog took forever to publish.”
12. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
No. I don’t really watch television, but I can’t imagine a situation in which there was nothing better to do than watch an infomercial.
13. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
I spent the majority of my life at a toned 145 pounds with no effort whatsoever. This whole working out thing is new to me, and I’m still adjusting. Wait, now I should go back and change my ‘lamest excuse’ answer.
14. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
None. It’s Saturday.
15. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Zhena’s Gypsy Tea in Green Mint
16. Do you eat the skin of off chicken?
I dislike chicken cooked in a way that gives it ‘skin’.
17. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
No.
18. Do you have an issue with your weight?
I do since I’ve quit smoking. I gained 45 pounds in 2 weeks.
19. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Yes.
20. Have you ever looked at a small house pet and though about eating it?
No. I have eaten dog though. Long story. Best not to think about it.
21. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of the opposite sex during a normal conversation?
I was busted for this when I was about 13, and think I learned my lesson pretty well.
22. What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex?
The eyes. Seriously. That’s not just a bullshit pandering answer.
23. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No.
24. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
I haven’t, but I’ve been the cause of the latter, which is tons of fun.
25. How many credit cards do you own?
None. However, a number of credit card companies own me.
26. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Target.
27. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Invest it, keep my job, and live comfortably but modestly without ever worrying about finances again.
28. Would you rather be rich or famous?
Famous. I don’t care too much for money. Money, as it turns out, can’t buy you love. Or, more specifically, the adoration of millions.
29. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
My current job is pretty boring, so I guess I would accept a boring job even if it didn’t mean I would make megabucks.
30. Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes. Thank you for not asking about specifics. I was a kid, I was dumb, I’m ashamed.
31. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
About 500.
32. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Being able to do the things I’m most proud of anonymously.
33. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
I don’t think I’ve made my parents very proud since high school, frankly. They were probably relieved at my choice of a spouse, however.
34. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
I want to be quoted in 11th grade history books.
35. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Every time.
36. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill?
Not that I can think of.
37. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
During the American History AP test in high school, there was a fire alarm and we all had to evacuate. We discussed answers outside. The only one I would have otherwise gotten wrong was the date of the Scopes monkey trial.
38. What did you do today that you're proud of?
I cleaned the kitchen using 3, count them – 3, different types of cleaning agents.
39. What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
My friend Matt’s income.
40. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
What is “Trading Spaces”?
41. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
Gavin DeGraw.*
42. Have you ever been cheated on?
More times and in more exotic ways than I care to get into here.
43. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Although I pretend it doesn’t bother me, somewhere, deep down, I wish I hadn’t gone bald.
44. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Artistic Talent
45. Where were you born?
Glamorous Syracuse, NY.
46. Where are you now?
47. What is your heritage?
About 50% Austrian/German and 50% French. Every 25 years or so I get the urge to beat myself up.
48. What shoes did you wear today?
My Bass slipperloafers.
49. What is your biggest weakness?
There’s a spot on the back of my neck that, when softly petted, makes me unable to speak. Seriously.
50. What is your biggest fear?
Currently, a Christian Theocracy in America.
51. What are your favorite pizza toppings?
Sausage and Peppers
52. What is your biggest goal for this year?
Debt Reduction.
53. What is the first thing you think in the morning?
I don’t actually begin thinking until early in the afternoon. Usually there’s no need.
54. What is your best physical feature?
I’ve been told my eyes are rather striking.
55. What time to you try to go to bed?
I shoot for about 9 PM. I can’t tell you the last time I came close, though.
56. What is your fondest memory?
I try not to play favorites. I’m a very nostalgic person. I have many, many fond memories.
57. Do you smoke?
Not since August of last year.
58. Do you swear?
Yes, I swear, I haven’t had a cigarette since last August. Fuck, get off my back.
59. Do you sing?
Rather well, frankly.
60. Do you shower daily?
I shower or bathe daily. Never both though.
61. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
62. Do you want to go to college?
Again? The prospect is both inviting and terrifying.
63. Do you want to get married?
I did, despite assuming for years that I never would.
64. Do you believe in yourself?
Occasionally.
65. Do you get motion sick?
Yes, but it doesn’t deter me from reading while riding.
66. Do you think you are attractive?
I really don’t think about it… I’ve been told by some that I am and by others that I’m not.
67. Are you a health freak?
Quit asking dumb questions and pass the butter.
68. Do you get along with your parents?
Yes. They’re fantastic people.
69. Do you like thunderstorms?
Immensely.
70. Do you play an instrument?
I tried really, really hard to learn to play guitar. It did not turn out well.
71. Have you had alcohol in the past month?
Yes.
72. Have you smoked in the past month?
NO, DAMMIT!
73. Have you used illegal drugs in the past month?
No.
74. Have you dated in the past month?
Thankfully, I do believe my dating days are behind me.
75. Have you been to a mall in the past month?
No.
76. Have you eaten a box of Oreoes in the past month?
No.
77. Have you eaten sushi in the past month?
Oh yes.
78. Have you been on stage in the past month?
Sadly, I have not been on stage in years.
79. Have you been dumped in the past month?
No.
80. Have you been swimming in the past month?
Nope.
81. Have you stolen anything in the past month?
Nope.
82. Have you ever been drunk?
For about 3 years, I think. Long time ago.
83. Have you ever been called a tease?
I don’t think guys get called teases, really, but I’ve been accused of the guy equivalent, yes.
84. Have you ever been beaten up?
No.
85. Have you ever shoplifted?
That’s the stealing incident. Yes. I was a dumb kid. I’m sorry.
86. How do you want to die?
On the 6:00 news.
87. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Perpetually immature.
88. What country do you most want to visit?
Australia.
89. How many things in your life do you regret?
I don’t do this whole ‘no regrets’ nonsense. There are numerous things I would have done differently had I known better.
90. Any final words?
I think I am the aggregate of the personalities of everyone who has ever been important to me. I’m not sure if this means I have no personality of my own, or if this is really what everyone turns out to be.
________________________________________
* This answer is meant to be ironic.
1. Who did you last get angry with?
When I get angry, I tend to get migraines. So I’ve sorta learned not to get angry in the traditional sense.
2. What is your weapon of choice?
Sarcasm.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
It is difficult for me to imagine being able to do so, but I suppose there are circumstances that would make it necessary.
4. How about of the same sex?
I try not to. I’ve been in one fight, the result of which was my opponent being rushed to the hospital with a broken arm and a ruptured eardrum. I think this is why I never got in any other fights.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
I seem to have really gotten under the skin of some local right-wingers. Not sure how that happened.
6. What is your pet peeve?
Self-righteous self-importance.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let things go?
I give my trust rather easily, but once it’s lost, it’s nearly impossible to retrieve.
8. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you have not done in a long time?
I tend to go 3 or 4 days without shaving when I’m feeling lazy, but I’m not sure that counts as a ‘long time.’
9. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
I spent a few years working the night shift. So 3 PM was customary.
10. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't.
I actually just did… probably to my embarrassment. There may be a point at which contact shouldn’t be attempted.
11. What is the last lame excuse you made?
“I WAS on my way to bed, but the blog took forever to publish.”
12. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
No. I don’t really watch television, but I can’t imagine a situation in which there was nothing better to do than watch an infomercial.
13. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
14. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
None. It’s Saturday.
15. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Zhena’s Gypsy Tea in Green Mint
16. Do you eat the skin of off chicken?
I dislike chicken cooked in a way that gives it ‘skin’.
17. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
No.
18. Do you have an issue with your weight?
I do since I’ve quit smoking. I gained 45 pounds in 2 weeks.
19. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Yes.
20. Have you ever looked at a small house pet and though about eating it?
No. I have eaten dog though. Long story. Best not to think about it.
21. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of the opposite sex during a normal conversation?
I was busted for this when I was about 13, and think I learned my lesson pretty well.
22. What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex?
The eyes. Seriously. That’s not just a bullshit pandering answer.
23. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No.
24. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
I haven’t, but I’ve been the cause of the latter, which is tons of fun.
25. How many credit cards do you own?
None. However, a number of credit card companies own me.
26. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Target.
27. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Invest it, keep my job, and live comfortably but modestly without ever worrying about finances again.
28. Would you rather be rich or famous?
Famous. I don’t care too much for money. Money, as it turns out, can’t buy you love. Or, more specifically, the adoration of millions.
29. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
My current job is pretty boring, so I guess I would accept a boring job even if it didn’t mean I would make megabucks.
30. Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes. Thank you for not asking about specifics. I was a kid, I was dumb, I’m ashamed.
31. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
About 500.
32. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Being able to do the things I’m most proud of anonymously.
33. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
I don’t think I’ve made my parents very proud since high school, frankly. They were probably relieved at my choice of a spouse, however.
34. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
I want to be quoted in 11th grade history books.
35. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Every time.
36. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill?
Not that I can think of.
37. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
During the American History AP test in high school, there was a fire alarm and we all had to evacuate. We discussed answers outside. The only one I would have otherwise gotten wrong was the date of the Scopes monkey trial.
38. What did you do today that you're proud of?
I cleaned the kitchen using 3, count them – 3, different types of cleaning agents.
39. What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
My friend Matt’s income.
40. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
What is “Trading Spaces”?
41. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
Gavin DeGraw.*
42. Have you ever been cheated on?
More times and in more exotic ways than I care to get into here.
43. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Although I pretend it doesn’t bother me, somewhere, deep down, I wish I hadn’t gone bald.
44. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Artistic Talent
45. Where were you born?
Glamorous Syracuse, NY.
46. Where are you now?
47. What is your heritage?
About 50% Austrian/German and 50% French. Every 25 years or so I get the urge to beat myself up.
48. What shoes did you wear today?
My Bass slipperloafers.
49. What is your biggest weakness?
There’s a spot on the back of my neck that, when softly petted, makes me unable to speak. Seriously.
50. What is your biggest fear?
Currently, a Christian Theocracy in America.
51. What are your favorite pizza toppings?
Sausage and Peppers
52. What is your biggest goal for this year?
Debt Reduction.
53. What is the first thing you think in the morning?
I don’t actually begin thinking until early in the afternoon. Usually there’s no need.
54. What is your best physical feature?
I’ve been told my eyes are rather striking.
55. What time to you try to go to bed?
I shoot for about 9 PM. I can’t tell you the last time I came close, though.
56. What is your fondest memory?
I try not to play favorites. I’m a very nostalgic person. I have many, many fond memories.
57. Do you smoke?
Not since August of last year.
58. Do you swear?
Yes, I swear, I haven’t had a cigarette since last August. Fuck, get off my back.
59. Do you sing?
Rather well, frankly.
60. Do you shower daily?
I shower or bathe daily. Never both though.
61. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
62. Do you want to go to college?
Again? The prospect is both inviting and terrifying.
63. Do you want to get married?
I did, despite assuming for years that I never would.
64. Do you believe in yourself?
Occasionally.
65. Do you get motion sick?
Yes, but it doesn’t deter me from reading while riding.
66. Do you think you are attractive?
I really don’t think about it… I’ve been told by some that I am and by others that I’m not.
67. Are you a health freak?
Quit asking dumb questions and pass the butter.
68. Do you get along with your parents?
Yes. They’re fantastic people.
69. Do you like thunderstorms?
Immensely.
70. Do you play an instrument?
I tried really, really hard to learn to play guitar. It did not turn out well.
71. Have you had alcohol in the past month?
Yes.
72. Have you smoked in the past month?
NO, DAMMIT!
73. Have you used illegal drugs in the past month?
No.
74. Have you dated in the past month?
Thankfully, I do believe my dating days are behind me.
75. Have you been to a mall in the past month?
No.
76. Have you eaten a box of Oreoes in the past month?
No.
77. Have you eaten sushi in the past month?
Oh yes.
78. Have you been on stage in the past month?
Sadly, I have not been on stage in years.
79. Have you been dumped in the past month?
No.
80. Have you been swimming in the past month?
Nope.
81. Have you stolen anything in the past month?
Nope.
82. Have you ever been drunk?
For about 3 years, I think. Long time ago.
83. Have you ever been called a tease?
I don’t think guys get called teases, really, but I’ve been accused of the guy equivalent, yes.
84. Have you ever been beaten up?
No.
85. Have you ever shoplifted?
That’s the stealing incident. Yes. I was a dumb kid. I’m sorry.
86. How do you want to die?
On the 6:00 news.
87. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Perpetually immature.
88. What country do you most want to visit?
Australia.
89. How many things in your life do you regret?
I don’t do this whole ‘no regrets’ nonsense. There are numerous things I would have done differently had I known better.
90. Any final words?
I think I am the aggregate of the personalities of everyone who has ever been important to me. I’m not sure if this means I have no personality of my own, or if this is really what everyone turns out to be.
________________________________________
* This answer is meant to be ironic.
posted by Zafrod at 10:30 PM
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